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  • Summary of Chapter One’s First Re-write.

    Well, the first re-write of Chapter 1 has now happened. This followed your feedback. Thank you to all those who contributed. This happened purely and only because of those opinions.

    So, the main change, my wake-up call so to speak, was the number of characters I removed. In my head, this was a necessity to set the scene, but as many of you pointed out – this just led to confusion and uncertainty.

    The general consensus online seems to be we should only introduce two to three characters in the first chapter. Anything more confuses the reader. This makes sense but also creates its own issues, such as balancing scene-setting with pacing. I realized I was trying to explain too much too soon instead of letting the story naturally unfold. In the revised draft, I limited the focus to Joe, Katherine, and one subplot character, Frank. This gave readers fewer people to keep track of while strengthening their connection to the main characters.

    Another major revision came from feedback about the story’s opening. The original draft started with Joe managing a client call—a deliberate choice meant to showcase his work pressures. But many of you suggested it was too stereotypical and didn’t pull you in immediately to the storyline. So, in the re-write, I introduced a mysterious subplot: the ‘observer.’

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  • How Many Characters Should I Introduce in Chapter 1?

    Since my previous comment on the same topic, I’ve been researching this a little.

    I mean, they are right aren’t they. If they are getting confused with all the characters in chapter 1 then by definition it doesn’t matter if there are only two, three or four characters introduced – its still too many for them (and probably therefore for others as well)

    So, here’s what I found.

    1. Keep It Focused: One or Two Key Characters Are Enough

    When readers dive into your story for the first time, they’re meeting your world and your characters with fresh eyes. Introducing too many people right away can be overwhelming, like trying to learn 10 names at a party and forgetting all of them by the end of the night.

    I’m currently reading House of Cards by Michael Dobbs and the same thing happens here. Its lots of mini events all happening at the same time, so i kind of get it, but i still question if this could have been formatted differently.

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  • Original day 1 copy before any edits.

    I just figured this will be drastically changing over the next few months, so decided I better document the original version.

    Joseph Broadfield leaned back in his office chair, the phone wedged tightly against his ear, while his other hand toyed with a fountain pen. The voice on the other end belonged to Arthur Linton, a local funeral director who’d advertised in the Bath Spa Evening Post for as long as Joe could remember. Arthur’s tone was wary, a sign that the call was about to take a sour turn.

    “Joe, I’ve been with you for, what, fifteen years?” Arthur’s voice crackled with restrained frustration. “But lately, I’m not seeing the value. People just aren’t coming through the door like they used to.”

    Joe forced a sympathetic smile into his voice. “Arthur, let me be honest with you—nobody gets the attention and loyalty you’ve got. In an industry where every penny is being watched, you know that. You’re a priority for us.”

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  • You have introduced too many characters in chapter 1. Was this necessary?

    This was an observation from a friend. Thank you!

    You maybe on to something. The point about introducing too many characters in the first chapter is an interesting one and has got me thinking more deeply about how readers experience the story’s opening.

    Introducing multiple characters early on can sometimes help set the stage and establish the world, but it can also risk overwhelming the reader if the connections between them aren’t clear or compelling. I’ve been reflecting on the balance between creating intrigue and clarity. As authors, we have to decide what’s essential for the reader to know right away versus what can unfold naturally over time and maybe the balance isn’t quite right.

    I’m going to give this more thought and explore whether simplifying the introductions might strengthen the overall narrative. Thanks again for your insight—it’s invaluable!