Well, the first re-write of Chapter 1 has now happened. This followed your feedback. Thank you to all those who contributed. This happened purely and only because of those opinions.
So, the main change, my wake-up call so to speak, was the number of characters I removed. In my head, this was a necessity to set the scene, but as many of you pointed out – this just led to confusion and uncertainty.
The general consensus online seems to be we should only introduce two to three characters in the first chapter. Anything more confuses the reader. This makes sense but also creates its own issues, such as balancing scene-setting with pacing. I realized I was trying to explain too much too soon instead of letting the story naturally unfold. In the revised draft, I limited the focus to Joe, Katherine, and one subplot character, Frank. This gave readers fewer people to keep track of while strengthening their connection to the main characters.
Another major revision came from feedback about the story’s opening. The original draft started with Joe managing a client call—a deliberate choice meant to showcase his work pressures. But many of you suggested it was too stereotypical and didn’t pull you in immediately to the storyline. So, in the re-write, I introduced a mysterious subplot: the ‘observer.’
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